Troy you found your way home. Your own painful short-cut to heaven....and we're all still down here on earth....wandering.

Well today was the day we celebrated my brothers birthday, and more specifically my brothers life. Unfortunately he couldnt celebrate it with us...he died the year i was born. I never got to meet him, but a life apart will be nothing compared to an eternity together. some day i'll meet my older bro...i'm definitly looking forward to it. From what my parents and older siblings say he was quite the amazing guy. He couldnt be here with us now but thats ok, i know he's partying it up with God, Jesus, and all the angels and saints in heaven...besides, we're not quite sure if the cake is going to turn out very well anyways.

I'd like to share a poem Troy wrote a few weeks before he died..at this point he knew it wasnt much longer before all his pain would go away....before his tumor would end his life. Troy was 15 when he wrote this. He was brilliant. Had God not called him home at such a young age, he would be 35 years old today. But i know the excrutiating pain he had to endure was all worth it...he's been in heaven for nearly 20 years.

Troy called this poem "The Wanderer"

The pony sleeps fitfully
watching the night sky for something
not knowing why,
anticipating the unknown event.

Feeling the tension in the air he picks up his head
in time to catch a small glimpse
of a shiny missile of light
that scourched the heaven for but a moment.

A wayward wanderer,
a tramp in the universe,
a free entity,
a powerful creature,
and now a cloud of dust.

These proud remains fall into the sea
confuse an octupus
irratate a shark
and then sink to the bottom

where it joins a myraid other meteors
in the great burial plot of the heavens
at the bottom of the ocean.

and the pony sensing something,
nods his head towards the water.
Last respects paid to the wanderer.

and then gets up and wanders on himself,
in search of food and shelter;
the company of a noisy bullfrog singing in the night
the clicking of crickets
and the first notes of a fresh sparrow
greeting the new day.

He nips off a young shoot of grass
and savouring the fresh green flavour
procedes to investigate the lone tree
he sees in the distance.

It seems to beckon him,
calling him foreward
to cover the unknown ground
and experience that yet unexperienced.

Newly innocent,
there is much in life to see.
Savor time while it lasts;
for it too shall pass the way of the wanderer.

Hope you enjoyed that. Well this will be my last post for a while. Tomorow i go in for surgery....supposedly there is a small chance i may never wake up from my surgery...perhaps i'll get the oppertunity to meet Troy earlier than expected. If it is over a year and this is still the last post on this site...then that is indeed what happened. However, the chance of that happening is very small. So for the next few days i'm planning on being outta commision and just laying in bed feeling terrible. should be good. if all goes well, i plan on writing again in a few days.